Have you ever resisted something that was good for you? Have you skipped a workout, eaten poorly, or chosen not to attend a class or event that you know could make a difference or make you better? I have, and often still do. 

Most humans resist things that are good for us. Whether it is as simple as eating our vegetables, pressing the snooze button on our morning workout, or complex like going after our goals and dreams. We often find ways to self-sabotage or make excuses for the things that make us better than the current versions of ourselves. Even when we really want to do better and be better, we often face resistance. So, why is this? Simple or complex, why do we let resistance stop us?

There are, however, many types of resistance and perspectives to look at it. Not all resistance is a bad thing. If we look at the different perspectives on resistance, we can start to shift our mindset around it.

In Change Management, we talk about resistance as a normal part of change. It is usually experienced through our emotions, and is something for change leaders to watch for and help coach people through. In spiritual growth, we see resistance as normal and often an indication that you are on the right path. In strength training, resistance is purposely used to build muscles and make you stronger. Whatever perspective you are looking through, know that resistance is normal, experienced through our emotions, and will help make us stronger.

Tips for Overcoming Resistance

When we experience resistance personally or as a change leader, there are several things we can do:

• Recognize it– Become aware of it and get to know it. When does it come up? How are you experiencing it? Is there a pattern around it?
  • One of the places I often experience resistance is waking up early to work out. Before having kids, this was challenging; however, after having kids, it is almost impossible. I know waking up early to work out makes me feel amazing – I have more energy, need less caffeine, and am much more pleasant throughout the day. My resistance comes in a laundry list of excuses, blaming my kids for lack of sleep, and an addiction to my snooze button.
  • I often resist it so hard I won’t even hear my alarm(s) until my husband gets annoyed with me. The pattern I notice is that giving into this resistance triggers my feelings of being a failure / not good enough which stops me from other self-improvement ventures beyond exercise as well (eating healthy, healthy routines, etc.)

     

• Create a Plan– Once you recognize it and get to know what it is all about you can start to create a plan to overcome. This plan could be simple or complex.
  • In my above example, it could be as simple as getting a different alarm clock or complex like needing to redesign your night-time schedule, get a new alarm clock, and work through deeper healing of the underlying emotional reasons why this is an issue for you.

     

• Use Your Will– Once you have a clear plan in place that is manageable to take action on, you need to be able to use your will. This means that as you come up against this resistance, you experience it and do the thing that is good for you anyway. If you do this consistently enough you will find success and may even be able to rewire your patterns.

   

• Ask for Help– If you have done these things and are still struggling, ask for help. This help could come from a personal relationship (buddy, partner, etc.) or from a professional (therapist, coach, guide, etc.). Whoever it comes from, sometimes we just need a little extra help to ‘get over ourselves’ and move forward towards our goals.  

Not Letting It Stop You

For many, resistance often stops us in our tracks. We use it as an excuse that things are too hard, or we see it as a failure or a sign that ‘it’s just not meant to be’. We allow the challenges and tribulations that we face to write our story for us, instead of taking our power back and realizing we are in control. We see our road bumps as failures and losses, instead of lessons and opportunities to refine our goals/plans and keep moving forward.

There is an old saying that “nothing good ever comes easy”. I believe there is truth to this. It doesn’t mean that the only way to something good is through hardship, but it does mean that very few people find success without trials. There is often deeper growth, understanding, and self-knowledge that comes with success. Just as steel has to be forged in a flame and beaten down to get to its’ final form, our trials are what allow us to learn and often make our end results better because we had to withstand the fire to be forged into who we are today.

Seeing it as a ‘Sign’ & Using it as Fuel

If we can shift our mindset and perspective on resistance, we can start to see it as a sign and fuel for moving ourselves forward. One way to do this is to rewire our response once we recognize it coming up. We can do this through consistent practice and celebrating the little victories that will help us lead to the bigger victories in overcoming it. When we rewire our thoughts in this way, resistance is not the enemy anymore, but a teacher to help us become stronger in overcoming to reach our goals in life.  

This rewiring does not take place overnight. There are a couple areas I have been able to rewire my resistance and have seen lots of success. However, there are other areas of my life that I have much more work to do. Just because you do this in one area of your life does not mean that you have ‘cracked the code’ for all areas. Be patient with yourself, determined, and resilient, and you will be able to slowly overcome the resistance you face and use it as fuel to move you forward.