Lately, I have been hearing a lot from people about how they ‘can’t wait for things to go back to normal’. I have also been hearing a lot of people express that ‘we cannot go back to the way things were’.

These are interesting and unprecedented times for many of us to be living in. We are both living a major historic event as well as a major change event for humankind. While humans have lived through other major illnesses and pandemics through the ages of time, it is interesting to look at those events and see what happened on the other side.  

While this pandemic is unprecedented and terrible, it is also giving us all a gift to reflect on what is most important in our lives. Not only do we have an opportunity to reflect, this disruption has forced change (or transformation) upon us in one way or another – change in how we live our lives, operate our business, and interact as a society. This change has affected all of us, and while we may be in the ‘valley of despair’ or experiencing a collective ‘dark night of the soul’, that is a natural and expected part of the change process. Now that we are here, how do we best navigate this wave of transformation?

Despair: A Normal Side-Effect of Change

Change curve theory states that right after a change takes place or is set into action, that a ‘performance dip’ or ‘valley of despair’ (depression or grief period) will take place. However prepared you were for change will determine how long you are in that valley before coming out of it operating in a new way. Metaphysics would say that in large transformations or spiritual evolutions, there is a ‘dark night of the soul’ that takes place where we shed who our old selves are in order to become our new selves. This is the “fermentation phase” of Alchemy, or as Florence and the Machine would say, ‘it’s always darkest before the dawn’. 

No matter what theory you subscribe to, it is clear and consistent that before we integrate a major change or transformation, there is a challenge, struggle, or low point of some kind. If we look at the macro and micro level of what is going on, this time in humanity is likely just that. We are living through a transformation or evolutionary period and are being forced to change collectively.  

This is both painful and exciting. Painful as there are many people who are hurting and suffering in a very real way – physically, mentally, and emotionally. I do not want to minimize that for those who are experiencing it and living through it. At the same time, we are being forced into really looking at who we are as an individual and as a collective human race. In this moment we have an opportunity to be creative, solve problems, and make choices for the benefit of our highest good and the highest good of all.  

The good news is it is showing us where we all have choice and how our choices have ripple effects (in a very real way) on our lives and the lives of others. We are all connected, and our choices make an impact on each other – this is more apparent now than ever before. 

No Such Thing as Normal

While I understand the yearning for things to ‘go back to normal’ (and I can personally relate to that desire), once you go through change you can never go back…not really. Going through a big life event like this makes you a different person, which means you can only find new ways to be and live. 

This time in many ways feels like becoming a mother. The birth process is both beautiful and painful, but it creates life.  This time at home is kind of like the gestation period and as we start to come out of our homes and re-engage in society again, we may feel like new parents often do – excited, uncertain, yearning for things to go back to the way they were in some ways…but you are never the same again. You are always and forever changed (mostly for the better), so it takes time to re-learn who you are as this new person and how to be in the world again. We as a society will also need to re-learn who we are and how to be in the world again. 

All Change Requires Leadership

All change, whether personal, professional, or societal, requires leadership. Leadership comes in all forms, shapes, and sizes. Self-Leadership is just as important as Group Leadership, or the leadership of others. While we don’t always choose the catalyst of change (or circumstances that require it) – such as this pandemic, a natural disaster, or social revolution – there is always leadership found in creating the new reality after the change takes place. So, if all change requires leadership, the exciting news is that we can all be leaders!

Leadership takes place at a micro and macro level – self-leadership is just as important as group-leadership and often goes hand-in-hand. As Gandhi said, “be the change you wish to see in the world”, not “wait for someone to tell you what to do so you can change the world appropriately”.  

How can we be the change during these times? We can start with self-reflection and self-assessments. This is hard if every minute of your day is filled with caregiving, working, or mere survival, however, don’t give up! Be kind to yourself, reach out for help if you’re able to, and keep it simple. There are many simple exercises that can help – a couple of my favorites include journaling, wheel of life assessment, and creating a vision board. 

“A leader is a dealer in hope.” ~Napoleon Bonaparte

Stay Hopeful

One of the most important ingredients in effective change leadership is hope. Change leaders are on the front lines of influencing and affecting change in the world. While they may not know exactly what is going to happen, they actively use hope as a way to ‘peek into the future’ to believe it will be better than before. This is critical, especially while we are in a valley of despair as hope is required to climb out of it with direction, purpose, and strength.

Let’s be clear, being hopeful doesn’t mean blatantly ignoring challenges and believing that everything will be ‘sunshine and rainbows perfect’. It means that you are opting in to being part of the change, focusing on the positives, finding gratitude, and TAKING ACTION to bring those positive changes into fruition (or reality). Being a change leader means being an active problem solver, a servant leader, and every day asking yourself ‘how can I contribute?’, ‘what is one thing I can do’ today?, ‘how can I help others?’ to ensure that we all (everyone in your area of influence) can get through this and be better for it. 

Every action you take as a change leader is important, no matter how big or small. Believe in yourself and know that you can make a difference in the lives of those around you, which will ripple into other lives and ultimately help shift the larger whole.