We are of two minds at any given moment – one wired to defend itself from any perceived attack, the other ready and willing to embrace all that life has to offer with strength, love, acceptance. One cultivates war, the other fights for peace. Thoughts fuel our words. They lead to action. Taking responsibility for our thoughts means that we are going to step into the ring and fight for peace within our mind. We are willing to question our opinions, and examine the story running through our minds. What is the quality of your thoughts? Are they cultivating greater peace and harmony within you? Within the world?

A Gift More Precious than a Rare Jewel

One of the greatest opportunities we have to examine and clean up our thoughts is through the mirror of relationships. All relationships, whether it’s a boss, parent, sibling, close friend, co-worker or a significant other give us the opportunity to grow.

If we had no one to interact with, there would be no one to blame our unmet wants on, no one we expect to meet our needs. It would all be up to us. There’s a deep truth hidden in that: it is all up to us. When we begin to accept that our wants, our needs and our desires are ours to fill, we become empowered to take the steps necessary to meet our own needs. No longer putting the weight of that on someone else. It is a weight no one can carry for another. All relationships, no matter how minor or significant, have the power to teach us about ourselves. It’s a tremendous opportunity. Nothing triggers us like other people. In fact, I’m hard pressed to think of anything that triggers me that doesn’t have something to do with someone else. Those triggers are like touching an infected wound. It hurts. For years I blamed the “trigger perpetrator”. That person MUST be the problem. Why would they say / do / not say / not do….that? Was it ever easy to blame that person! I practiced the art of passive aggressive behaviors and, somehow, that made the trigger hurt worse – still, not MY fault. It could never be my fault. I was far above reproach. Ah, but sadly, my thoughts were deceiving me from seeing the gift of being triggered.

These core truths were just out of sight:

• Just underneath that shield of anger – I was hurting.
• Whoever triggered me in that moment did not cause my pain.
• The trigger was a gift that pointed to what needed to be attended to within myself.
• That person was a gift too – they offered me a glimpse into myself.
• The trigger gave me knowledge, so I could attend to that wound.

I had been acting out of the mind that always felt like I was under attack, disconnected from the space that was loving, accepting and at peace.  In all honesty, I’m not sure I even realized there was such a place, at least not at that time. It is said that the people who trigger us the most are “more precious than a rare jewel,” as they can be our greatest teachers in seeing where our mind is still holding onto pain, anger, judgement, shame, blame, guilt, and a host of other negative emotions. Through these precious mirrors we can cultivate deeper levels of love and compassion, both for ourselves and others.

At the Root of It

Triggers are mirrors into what needs healing. Most of us have core wounds. Sometimes we aren’t even aware of what caused them in the first place we just know that certain things cause particularly strong negative emotional responses. If we haven’t yet recognized that those responses were not created by our perceived perpetrator then we often fall into blame and become bitter and resentful in our relationships. When this happens, we feel victimized by circumstances or life in general.

My ex-husband would often tell me “I’m not your enemy.” I recall, with great clarity, that at the times that statement was uttered, he was, indeed to me, my enemy. Those words still echo in my mind ten years later because, he was right. My enemy lived within, dwelling just out of my conscious awareness within my mind. My enemy was faulty thinking. My enemy caused me to believe that my husband was solely responsible for a portion of my happiness. He was not. Worse yet, my enemy was always with me – in my thoughts, my inner dialogue and my responses. I had given this enemy the power to control my thinking. It became very easy to rationalize why I would blame someone else for how I feel. No amount of blaming others rid myself of this enemy.

7 Steps to Reclaim Your Power

So – if you find yourself triggered by the person who cut you off in traffic, the wait staff that gave you the wrong order, by your partner who is constantly leaving stuff around, by your parents, your boss…..here are some steps you can take to reclaim your power to change your thinking:

1. Recognize it. Right then. You’re experiencing an unpleasant reaction to something. Try not to go further in your thought process. Don’t try to rationalize how you feel.
2. Press pause. You probably don’t need to react in that moment. Leave the situation if appropriate, telling the other party that you need time to collect your thoughts.
3. There are many breathing techniques that can slow down brain frequency and assist in shifting negative thinking. Here’s one: breathe in through your nose to a count of four, hold that breath in your belly for a count of four. Exhale through your mouth to a count of four and hold again before you take another breath for a count of four.
4. Take some time and really think about why this caused a reaction in you. What unmet need is hidden, what great truth does that response point to? You may not have an answer the first few times around but as you work with this greater clarity will come.
5. When you’ve had some time to honestly reflect on your emotional response return to the person, if appropriate, and share your truth.
6. A regular meditation practice can literally re-write subconscious programming. If you’re going to run an emotional marathon make sure you’re training your mind to respond.
7. Self care. What do you need more of? Less of? Identify those things. Act on those things. Take care of yourself. You deserve love, always. You deserve your love, always.

Remember in any moment: “You are presented with two choices – evolve or repeat.”

A Path of Progression

Within the Modern Mystery School the Lineage of King Salomon preserves a specialized path for assisting humans on this journey, with a process of alchemical transformation and tools to work with to reclaim your power and cultivate greater peace within your life.

To begin:

1. Life Activation – this private session is a DNA activation to “turn on” the blueprint within your spiritual DNA.
2. Empower Thyself – a 2-day program and initiation within the lineage of King Salomon that begins an accelerated journey to KNOW THYELF. This initiation transforms your energy structure and leads to greater awareness of self, protection, and tools to align with your true self, and reclaim your power in the light,