Pain that Reaches the Soul: Reclaiming Your Story and Healing Trauma

by | Oct 15, 2018 | SOUL

healing trauma
Through my years as a confidant and energy healer I’ve discovered a single, universal trait that we seem to share: the experience of suffering. Whether it’s an anticipated loss or a sudden, unexpected change, suffering reveals itself in a multitude of ways. In Buddhism, it is believed that the root of suffering is our attachment to things be them material objects or outcomes. I’d like to take that a step further and propose that suffering is created in our mind based upon the story we tell ourselves about an event. The meaning we ascribe to our losses, the significance we provide it has the ability to create emotional turmoil, to create suffering.

In the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind two lovers separately hire a firm that will erase the memories they have of one another, both good and bad, as the pain of their relationship has become too much to bear. Once unburdened by past memories of painful events they again meet and fall in love. Take a moment and imagine what your life would feel like, how your days would be different, if you no longer carried the emotional memory of past traumas. If you were truly able to let go of suffering. I’m not advocating for erasing past memories but rather for reframing the story.

“It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.” – Carl G. Jung

Our minds are capable of incredible feats. Whether you rise or fall during a situation is often determined by the stories we tell ourselves. If our story is steeped in a lack of self-worth, a fear of not being good enough or a general anxiety over the seemingly impermanence of life we struggle against the weight of those beliefs and, often, we find our beliefs validated in our surroundings. We “see” what we believe to be true about life; we “see” what we believe to be true about ourselves. This is why some people can experience horrific tragedies and move through it with grace while others feel trapped within the grief the story bears.
I experienced a traumatic event in childhood that would become so ingrained it was virtually inseparable to how I viewed myself. The story I created about the event was, in part, due to what well meaning family told me I should believe. The trauma became a significant portion of my personality. When a painful event occurs we can begin to latch on to identities, believing they define who we are: “I am a victim”, “I am a survivor”, “these things always happen to me.” At best these identities can limit our ability to transcend the event, at worst they continue to perpetuate the trauma. There is nothing wrong in celebrating our ability to rise above traumatic experiences. It’s when we identify with our story, we attach to the trauma and make it our identity, that we limit ourselves and cut ourselves off from the truth of all that we are.  

The Cycle of Suffering

Whether a single event or hundreds of micro-aggressions that build into a life all their own, there is a distinct cycle to suffering. A single traumatic event often causes great and sudden change in our lives. While small, multiple negative experiences can build into an energy where we begin to feel we will never be good enough, never fit in, never [insert yours here].

Either way, we seek answers and try to make sense of things. We develop a narrative, and start to play this story out in our minds. We sift through “what if” scenarios, asking “why did this have to happen?”

We search for meaning, something to bring balance to the intensity of feelings we have, something to ease our suffering. The external search to find meaning or dull the pain can take innumerable forms – religion, addiction, blame; some roads leading to greater truths, others continuing the cycle of pain.

A day may come where we realize that all the searching has yielded little results. The story remains, ingrained in our identity.

For example, if, as a child, you were abandoned by a parent you may gravitate towards relationships where your partner is likely to leave. But – your story does not define you. You’re far too vast to be identified by an event.

If we are brave, we journey inside. We ask the deeper questions, “Who am I?”, “Why am I here?” We begin to look for greater meaning, a greater understanding of all that exists, beyond our own stories. We recognize that the external does not hold the answers for us however, it may point the way to greater truths within.

Transcend Your Story

Detaching from our story is a unique process done with a tremendous amount of self-love, forgiveness and grace. Allowing ourselves to feel whatever it is we feel and lovingly releasing our attachment to the story.

You are not your story – you are as vast as the universe. You are loved beyond measure and valued beyond earthly treasures. For me, awakening to these deeper truths provided the means to transcend the story. Although it will never change what happened, it has forever altered my perception of my place within the story. Suffering can point the way to change. A change that is often beyond conscious comprehension. Suffering can point the way to deep revelations– if we would only look within.

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” – Carl G. Jung

What if you could take all the pain you’ve experienced and catalyze it for tremendous growth. You can redirect your pain and use it to do great things. Like storing up coins in a video game only to cash them in for a great reward. Suffering can create beautiful things too – it can create empathy, compassion, grace, humility and deeper understanding. When we let go of the story and embrace a view of ourselves as unlimited beings we create room for miraculous change.
When I look back on the journals I’ve kept throughout my life I’ve tried to make sense of and have desperately searched for a relief to my suffering for a long, long time. And, while much of my search has been a journey inward, my ability to transcend the story was not easy to come by as a way out of the pain continued to elude me.

For at least 15 years prior to finding the Modern Mystery School I was given signs that were pointing the way to the path of initiation. It was this process that catalyzed all the changes needed to transcend my limited self-view and continue to evolve, grow and progress. I remain awestruck by the gift of initiation and the way in which it continues to unfold and reveal deeper truths within my life. When we truly become aware of the inherent value within ourselves and others, when we accept that value and live our worth, when we dis-identify with our stories we open the gate to wholeness. Every human being on this planet deserves to live in joy – knowing their great worth and seeing that worth in others.

Next Steps

If you find yourself trapped in the cycle of suffering there are steps you can take to assist you in shifting the energy and creating lasting change.

  • Create a life of balance. Decide what’s important to you. Identify what you need more of and rearrange your life to make that happen. We live in an age where people are exchanging their life to make a living. Decide what you really need and re-prioritize if necessary.
  • Meditate. This is a simple, powerful tool capable of clearing out mind clutter and reframing our experiences. It brings in more clarity and increases peace and relaxation.
  • Receive healings. This is an important part of self-care and will likely look different for each person. Tune in to what your body needs, listen to what it’s telling you. Whether it’s a massage or an energy healing, honor your needs.
  • Initiation. The wisdom teachings from the lineage of King Solomon, the initiations and shifts that come with the path of progression, transcend logic. If this resonates with you reach out to a Guide in your area.

Don’t ever give up. Keep searching, keep hoping, keep going. Relief can come at any moment. Sometimes there are things that need to play out in our lives for us to be ready to accept the healing that we desperately yearn for. Not everything is an easy, instant fix. Trust that freedom from suffering will come to you.

Cassandra Bachtell

Cassandra Bachtell

With an inherent desire to see past the surface of things, Cassandra immersed herself in the study of metaphysics as well as the mind-body connection for over 20 years. Studying psychoneuroimmunology through mainstream academia as well as absorbing deeper esoteric teachings, she has a blended view of the spiritual and scientific nature of wellness. Cassandra owns Reiki Moon in Duluth, MN where she offers healing sessions and classes empowering others to transform their lives and claim a greater sense of peace and joy.

www.reikimoon.net
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